January 11, 2012

Report card days of Christmas

As part of the Gulf of Mexico Summit, we had the opportunity to present our prototype report card. For the presentation of the prototype Gulf of Mexico report card, we assembled our six man report card team: Drs. Larry McKinney and Wes Tunnell from the Harte Research Institute, Texas A&M University, Drs. Mark Harwell and Jack Gentile, Harwell, Gentile & Associates, and Drs. Bill Dennison and Heath Kelsey, Integration & Application Network, University of Maryland Center for Environmental Science.

Former First Lady Laura Bush was the lunchtime speaker preceding our report card session, and she went a little overtime. None of the conveners were willing to cut her off (they were afraid of the Secret Service), so we had a shortened session. So in order to provide the audience with a quick guide to the 6 page tri-fold report card which we had distributed during the session, in the spirit of the Christmas season, I provided a very out-of-tune rendition of the “Report card days of Christmas”, sung to the tune of “Twelve Days of Christmas”.
The words to the song are as follows, but by general acclaim, my singing will not be available:

Report card days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
A prototype in a tri-fold

trifold

A prototype in a trifold

On the second day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

two indicators

Two Indicators

On the third day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

three different sites

Three Different Sites

On the fourth day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

four layer cake

Four Layered Cake

On the fifth day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

five easy steps

Five Easy Steps

On the sixth day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Six geeks a-talkin’
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

six geeks talking

Six geeks a-talking

On the seventh day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Seven responses responding
Six geeks a-talkin’
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

seven responses responding

Seven Responses Responding

On the eighth day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Eight impacts impacting
Seven responses responding
Six geeks a-talkin’
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

eight impacts impacting

Eight Impacts Impacting

On the ninth day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Nine conditions reporting
Eight impacts impacting
Seven responses responding
Six geeks a-talkin’
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

nine conditions reporting

Nine Conditions Reporting

On the tenth day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Ten stressors stressing
Nine conditions reporting
Eight impacts impacting
Seven responses responding
Six geeks a-talkin’
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

ten stressors stressing

Ten Stressors Stressing

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Eleven pressures pressing
Ten stressors stressing
Nine conditions reporting
Eight impacts impacting
Seven responses responding
Six geeks a-talkin’
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold

eleven pressures pressing

Eleven Pressures Pressing

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my report card gave to me
Twelve drivers driving
Eleven pressures pressing
Ten stressors stressing
Nine conditions reporting
Eight impacts impacting
Seven responses responding
Six geeks a-talkin’
Five easy steps
A four layered cake
Three different sites
Two indicators
And a prototype in a tri-fold.

twelve drivers driving

Twelve Drivers Driving

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About the author
Dr Bill Dennison is a Professor of Marine Science and Vice President for Science Applications at the University of Maryland Center for Environmental Science (UMCES). Dr Dennison’s primary mission within UMCES is to coordinate the Integration and Application Network.
Website: http://ian.umces.edu/people/Bill_Dennison/
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Filed under: Environmental Report Cards — Tags: , , — Bill Dennison @ 9:00 am

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